August is for Moving
Please visit now: Oh, Bitter Dicta.
we are three rising 2Ls who attend a law school in Brooklyn Heights
It’s been a month since the last final, and now that Menlove and grades are (almost all*) out, there’s a slight sense of closure on the first year. Of course, there’s still the writing competition results. And fall on-campus interviewing (which is really not in the fall at all). And picking 2L classes. But at this moment, school is about as far away as possible, even though it’s only a train stop away from where ½ of BLS (including myself) is working.
Work is interesting in theory. In reality, lawyering seems absurdly time-consuming. I don’t want to say boring. I can’t say boring, since it’s what’s lined up for at least the next few years. So far, it’s not unlike school. Get an assignment, cut and paste together a bunch of quotes from cases, and add some connectives. Somehow, this takes a long time, though it’s probably because I don’t know anything about the field I’m working in. The only Economics I’ve been exposed to is from an intro class 9 years ago (1st year of college was really that long ago…) and the skeletal theory taught by our Torts professor. Both are completely useless at the moment, so I’m trying to fill in the vast blanks in those times I should be sipping martinis at gimmicky bars. Luckily I hate both of those and ♥ the Sherman Act.
My only real complaint is that there are two other interns sitting within a foot radius of me who eat loudly for most of the day. It sounds crazy, but it’s really difficult to concentrate when someone is cracking open pistachios in your ear. Other than that, it’s a good group. We’ve compared school stories, and it turns out much is the same, but, surprise, there are definite perks to going to upper rank schools. Who can deny it? We don’t have Supreme Court justices visiting us, or firms kissing our asses. On the other hand, we are all eagerly awaiting the Geraldo’s about to open in the new dorm.
*why do you continue to torture us, Property Professor?
So that’s it. We’re 2Ls now.
Last night we celebrated student style – lots of booze, and quickly. I have never been around so many jubilant people in my life. It was too bad I didn’t get to enjoy it more, since by midnight, I was a disaster. Thanks to those who accompanied me after I darted out of the bar with my hands over my mouth. Sorry Mr. Cab Driver, since yes, that was nasty, but no way in hell were you getting the 40 bucks you demanded to clean it up, especially since by then I had already lost my wallet. And thank you, selfless one, for leaving early with me and staying close by lest I began to choke on my own vomit while sleeping in your tub.
What happened? Not eating a proper dinner, random kind people handing me drinks (actually, I hope they handed them to me and I didn’t just grab them), and relief, I suppose, all converged to cut short the evening. I left before any juicy stuff happened. Any bizarre hookups? Brawls? Love confessions?
And then there were the questions about this. I was surprised that people I know had been reading it, but that no one said anything until last night. Except the guy who asked me during that freaky anticipatory silence 15 seconds before the property exam was about to begin (sorry I lied, but I was caught off guard), and Saucy Intruder, our chattiest visitor.
Alright, time to remember how to have a life again.
The overwhelming response to the exam was: what the hell was that?? The questions on future estates were far more complicated than on the practice exams, (so many trusts!), and one of the essays involved intellectual property, which was also not on any of the past exams, so I didn’t study it. I just figured it was a diversion in the class based on our professor’s specialty. One of the issues was whether a plastic surgeon had rights over her special face surgery technique that transformed her hideous husband into an international supermodel. Kind of fun in hindsight, though completely unanswerable.
The policy after each exam was not to talk about it, but this time it was inevitable, since the test was just too ridiculous. Was the Rule Against Perpetuities applicable anywhere? Who would wait 21 years to bury their mother? Can you adversely possess someone’s face? There was a word limit?? I was too relieved to be worried at first, especially after a couple of beers. But then I got home and tossed out everything property related so I could pretend the whole thing never happened.
I should have been studying all day, but after being cooped up for two days, it was impossible. I went to school for the first time since the civpro exam, and saw exactly what I wanted to avoid. People wigging out. It’s difficult enough to sort property out in my brain, and then when I hear other people’s questions, I start wondering whether I have any idea about anything. I left the bulding as soon as possible, but not before printing out 4000 pages of supplementary materials to take as comfort to the exam tomorrow.
Now it’s dark outside. I’m beginning to feel crazy about this test. My outline is repetitive and probably missing a whole lot. Fuck. Thinking about last semester, I know I’ll probably remember very little of what happens over these two weeks, except that there were some obnoxious rules that don’t matter anymore. It's like that hormone that women in labor emit so that they forget about the pain and are willing to go through it all again later.